Double entendre 1

Today's snippet is a hilarious example of a figure of speech called apahnuti (अपह्नुति), "denial" or "concealment", or sometimes chhekaapahnuti (छेकापह्नुति), "clever denial".  It takes the form of a short conversation: The first speaker makes an ambiguously worded statement, and the second catches only the meaning that is suggested by a superficial reading and is usually erotic; the first speaker then anticlimactically reveals the meaning they intended, prompting the reader to revisit their original words. A similar genre of riddles called keh-mukarni (कह-मुकरनी), "say-and-deny", exists in the Hindi languages.

Devanagari text:

आदौ गृहीतपाणिः पश्चादारूढजघनकटिभागा|
नखमुखलालनसुखदा सा किं रामास्ति नैव भोः पामा||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

Adau gRhItapANiH pazcAdArUDhajaghanakaTibhAgA|
nakhamukhalAlanasukhadA sA kiM rAmAsti naiva bhoH pAmA||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: 
Man 1: At first, she takes hold of my hand, and then mounts my hip and loins. It is highly pleasurable when I caress her with the tips of my nails.
Man 2: Are you talking about your (beautiful) wife?
Man 1: No sir! I am talking about my itch!

Source: This verse can be found in the third edition of the Subhashita Ratnakara (सुभाषितरत्नाकर), "an ocean of good sayings", published in 1903, as well as in the Subhashita Ratna Bhandagara (see this post). However, no information on its age or authorship is available.

Notes: The wordplay works because the author has chosen to use the word paamaa (पामा) which refers to a skin infection characterized by an itchy rash (it finds mention in many proto-medical treatises such as those by Sushruta and Charaka, and has been variously interpreted as scabies, herpes, or suchlike by modern commentators); this word is in the feminine gender, enabling the author to take recourse to a sequence of feminine adjectives (in strict accordance with Sanskrit grammar) to misguide their readers. It is also worth mentioning here that in Sanskrit erotic literature, making scratches on one's lover's body with fingernails (regardless of the gender of the deliverer and the receiver) was highly romanticized or, should I say, fetishized – several scholarly writings deal at length with the classification of such nail-marks. 

Ups and downs

Here's a centuries-old sarcastic snippet that will definitely come across as sexist to many modern readers.

Devanagari text:

तवोच्छ्रितान् पातयितुः पतितांश्चोद्धरिष्यतः|
विधातुरिव दृश्यन्ते भग चित्रा विभूतयः||

– व्याघ्रगण

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

tavocchritAn pAtayituH patitaMzcoddhariSyataH|
vidhAturiva dRzyante bhaga citrA vibhUtayaH||

– vyAghragaNa

Loose translation: You make the exalted fall and the fallen rise – O Vulva¹! Your powers are just as wondrously varied as those of Fate² (that is responsible for the vicissitudes of human life).

Source: This verse is available in the Subhaashitaavali (सुभाषितावलि) from 10th century Kashmir (see this post), and in a slightly modified form in the Subhaashita Sudhaanidhi (सुभाषितसुधानिधि) from 14th century Vijayanagara (see this post).

Notes: If it was not clear already, the 'fall' here refers to moral degradation, and the 'rise' is of course an erection. It was not uncommon for authors to vilify female physicality and character in moralizing discourses that were, needless to say, aimed at a male reader base.  

1 Sanskrit has many words for the female genitalia, of which our poet has chosen to use bhaga (भग). Curiously, this word can also mean 'good luck' (compare the word bhaagya (भाग्य)) or 'excellence', among other things! In fact, bhaga is the source of the word bhagavaan (भगवान्) that refers to God in many Indic languages.^↩

2 The poet uses vidhaatr (विधातृ) which literally translates to 'the ordainer', and can refer to a deity in control of human destiny, sometimes identified with Brahma, or Fate personified, or just 'God' in non-denominational literature.^↩

A risqué riddle

Since this is a riddle, I will provide hints below. But I won't give away the solution since I think it is fairly obvious. 

Devanagari text:

एकेन रोमनालेन जातं पङ्केरुहद्वयम्|
ज्ञात्वाधो धनमस्यास्ति खनन्ति निशि रागिणः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

ekena romanAlena jAtaM paGkeruhadvayam|
jJAtvAdho dhanamasyAsti khananti nishi rAgiNaH||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: On a single bristly stalk, blossoms a pair of lotuses – knowing that there is a treasure beneath it, passionate individuals excavate at night. 

Source: This couplet actually seems to be quite well-known. I first came across it in the 19th century Vidyakara Sahasrakam (see this post for details).

Hints: In Indic literature, various parts of the body such as the face, hands, feet, and suchlike – especially those of a voluptuous woman – are often compared to lotuses in full bloom. Moreover, there is a particular feature of the female body that was, for many centuries, considered a mark of great beauty in the Subcontinent – a vertical streak of hair on the abdomen above the navel. Known by various names, including romaavali (रोमावलि), romaraaji (रोमराजि), and romalataa (रोमलता), it was often described as something that could distract even men with the highest level of self-control,  and its first appearance was celebrated in poetry as a sign of puberty! It is amazing how much our attitude towards body hair, especially female body hair, has changed in recent times.