The ultimate terrorist

Today's offerings come to you from poets who have definitively solved the mystery of why most Indic deities choose peculiar abodes and retreats far removed from human habitation.

(1) Devanagari text:

कमले कमला शेते हरः शेते हिमालये|
क्षीराब्धौ च हरिः शेते मन्ये मत्कुणशङ्कया||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

kamale kamalA zete haraH zete himAlaye| 

kSIrAbdhau ca hariH zete manye matkuNazaGkayA||

Loose translation: Lakshmi sleeps on a lotus, Shiva in the Himalayas, and Vishnu on the Ocean of Milk – I think it is because they are all afraid of bedbugs. 

Source: Subhashita Ratna Bhandagara, Verse 13 of the chapter on comedy; Subhashita Ratnakara, Verse 177 of the chapter on miscellaneous verses (मिश्रप्रकरण).

(2) Devanagari text:

मन्ये मत्कुणशङ्कया जलनिधौ गत्वा हरिः सुप्तवां-
स्तन्नाभ्यम्बुरुहे प्रजापतिरभूल्लक्ष्मीश्च तद्वक्षसि|
कैलासाचलमाश्रितः पशुपतिर्गौरी तदुत्सङ्गगा 
नक्षत्रग्रहमण्डलं च सकलं येषां भयाद् भ्राम्यति||
शशिदिनकरौ व्योम्नि स्वर्गे शचीहृदयेश्वरो 
धनपतिरसौ कैलासाद्रौ हरिर्मकराकरे|
शतधृतिरयं नाभौ शम्भुः श्मशानभुवं गतो 
भुजगरमणोऽधो मन्येऽहं द्रुतं किल मत्कुणात्|| 

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

manye matkuNazaGkayA jalanidhau gatvA hariH suptavAM-
stannAbhyamburuhe prajApatirabhUllakSmIzca tadvakSasi| 

kailAsAcalamAzritaH pazupatirgaurI tadutsaGgagA
nakSatragrahamaNDalaM ca sakalaM yeSAM bhayAD bhrAmyati||
zazidinakarau vyomni svarge zacIhRdayeszvaro
dhanapatirasau kailAsAdrau harirmakarAkare|
zatadhRitirayaM nAbhau zambhuH zmazAnabhuvaM gato
bhujagaramaNo(a)dho manye(a)haM drutaM kila matkuNAt||

Loose translation: I think that it is the fear of bedbugs that has forced Vishnu to make for the ocean to catch some sleep; for the same reason, Brahma dwells in the lotus that springs from Vishnu's navel, and Lakshmi on his chest (or in his heart); Shiva has taken refuge on Mount Kailasa and Gauri on Shiva's lap. (Indeed,) it is the same fear that keeps all the stars and planets moving round and round!

The Moon and the Sun reside in the sky, the lord of Shachi's heart (i.e. Indra, King of the Devas) dwells in paradise, the lord of wealth (i.e. Kubera) on Mount Kailasa, Vishnu in the abode of aquatic monsters (i.e. the ocean), Brahma on (the lotus shooting up from) Vishnu's navel, Shiva at cremation grounds, and the lord of serpents (i.e. Ananta) in the netherworld – I think it is because they were all trying to get away from bedbugs as fast as possible.

Source: Anyokti Muktaavali (अन्योक्तिमुक्तावली), "a pearl-string of allegorical writings", compiled in the 17th century (completed in 1679 CE) by the Jain scholar Hamsavijaya Gani (हंसविजयगणि), Chapter 4, Verses 20-21.

Notes: In the 18th century, Ali Muheeb Khan 'Pritam' (अली मुहीब खाँ 'प्रीतम') wrote his magnum opus Khatmal baisi (खटमल बाईसी), "twenty-two odes to the bedbug", with the same theme as the above verses, in an early Hindustani dialect. This is sometimes regarded as the first specimen of a purely comedic composition in Hindi literature; you can find some excerpts here.

Also, feel free to check this post out.

First impressions

Here is a couple of stanzas – uncannily similar in content and style – in each of which the author records their impression of the inhabitants of a particular part of South Asia that they were visiting. 

(1) Ram Manikya Bidyalankar (born c. 1780), a native of Kalashkathi (কলসকাঠি) in the Barisal district of present-day Bangladesh, was a noted scholar of his age. He served as Assistant Secretary of the Sanskrit College, Calcutta, for about ten months from 1845 until his death in 1846. It is said that, after his short stay in Jessore (Bengali যশোর, rendered यशोहर or sometimes just यशोर in Sanskrit), he composed the following versified review of local administration. 

Devanagari text:

राजा किशोरः सचिवः किशोरः पुरोहितो दम्भमयः किशोरः|
अहो यशोरे परितःकिशोरे किशोरखेलाः परितः स्फुरन्ति||

– राममाणिक्यविद्यालङ्कार

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

 rAjA kizoraH sacivaH kizoraH purohito dambhamayaH kizoraH| 

aho yazore paritaHkizore kizorakhelAH paritaH sphuranti||

– Ram Manikya Bidyalankar

Loose translation: The king is an adolescent! (His) counselor is an adolescent! (His) priest is an adolescent, and a hypocrite to boot! Ah! Here in Jessore, where one is surrounded by adolescents, one can only see adolescent shenanigans unfolding everywhere!

Source: Biographical sketch of Ram Manikya Bidyalankar by Pandit Haraprasad Shastri, published in the Sahitya Parishat Patrika (साहित्यपरिषत्पत्रिका) Number 4 in the Bengali year 1338 (1931-32 CE). 

(2) Devanagari text:

बालोऽपि चोरः स्थविरोऽपि चोरः समागतः प्राघुणिकोऽपि चोरः|
दिल्लीप्रदेशे मथुराप्रदेशे चोरं विना न प्रसवन्ति नार्यः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

bAlo(a)pi coraH sthaviro(a)pi coraH samAgataH prAghuNiko(a)pi coraH| 

dillIpradeze mathurApradeze coraM vinA na prasavanti nAryaH||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: Every child is a thief! Every senior citizen is a thief, too! And every arriving guest is a thief! In the regions of Delhi and Mathura, a woman does not give birth unless to a thief!

Source: Samayocitapadyamalika, Verse 21 of the chapter focusing on words that start with the consonant d (द्). A variant that does not mention Delhi and replaces the guest with any random person roaming around is recorded in Udbhata Chandrika (Volume I Appendix; it is inexplicably placed आदिरसात्मकाः श्लोकाः, "erotic verses"):

बालोऽपि चौरः स्थविरोऽपि चौर इतस्ततः पर्यटितोऽपि चौरः|

आश्चर्यमेकं मथुरानगर्यां चौरं विना न प्रसवन्ति नार्यः||

Notes: The word prAghuNika (प्राघुणिक) is quite interesting. It refers to a guest, usually a stranger (like a traveler looking for a night's stay), who shows up at your doorstep without an invitation or prior intimation but is entitled to your hospitality by tradition. The forms prAghuNa (प्राघुण) and prAhuNa (प्राहुण) are also documented. These are said to be derived from the morphologically accountable prAghUrNa (प्राघूर्ण्), "wanderer", making this one of the rare instances of Prakrit words being absorbed into later Sanskrit literary vocabulary. This set of words survives in various forms in present-day languages ranging from the dialects of Rajasthan (पांवणां, पांवणों, पांवणू) to Marathi (पाहुणा) to Maithili (पाहुन).

I am not sure if the verb prasavanti (प्रसवन्ति) – which evidently means "(they all) give birth to" in this context, and hence must be derived from the root pra-√sU (प्र-√सू) – would be considered grammatically sound by the Paninian school; however, this form does occur in at least one recension of the Mahabharata: The description of the birth of Ghatotkacha in the Adiparva includes the line "सद्यो हि गर्भान् राक्षस्यो लभन्ते प्रसवन्ति च"।

A student-teacher conversation

This is a continuation of the previous post about Raghunatha Shiromani (c. 1477-1547 CE), one of the luminaries of the Nyaya school of thought from what is now Bengal (however, this is somewhat controversial since there are scholars who believe that he was a native of Sylhet (श्रीहट्ट) which, although in present-day Bangladesh, is culturally close to Assam). He received his education under the auspices of the multi-faceted genius Vasudeva Sarvabhauma, वासुदेवसार्वभौम, (c. 1450-1525) of Nabadwip before relocating to Mithila, as described in the previous post. Some say that he decided to change schools because he was dissatisfied with his instruction in Nyaya at Nabadwip; others maintain that he was encouraged by Vasudeva himself because of his eidetic memory to study with Pakshadhara Mishra and bring back the wealth of knowledge that was carefully preserved in the latter's academy at Mithila. The following playful conversation is said to have unfolded between Vasudeva and this former student of his on the latter's triumphant return from his second alma mater.

Devanagari text:

अपि दिवसमनैषीः पद्मिनीसद्मनिस्थो*
रजनिषु निरतोऽभूः कैरविण्यां रमण्याम्|
कथय कथय भृङ्ग स्वच्छभावेन तावत्
किमधिकसुखमैषीरत्र** वा तत्र वेति||
variants: *अयि दिवसमनैषीः पद्मिनीसद्मनि त्वं;**किमधिकसुखमाप्सीरत्र

– वासुदेवसार्वभौम

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

api divasamanaiSIH padminIsadmanistho
rajaniSu nirato(a)bhUH kairaviNyAM ramaNyAM| 

kathaya kathaya bhRGga svacchabhAvena tAvat
kimadhikasukhamaiSIratra vA tatra veti||

– Vasudeva Sarvabhauma

Loose translation: After spending the daytime housed in a cluster of (day-blooming) lotuses, you have enjoyed a beautiful clump of night-lotuses by night. So tell me! O Bumblebee! Tell me, clearly and precisely, whether you found greater pleasure here or there.

Explanation: Although often used as an umbrella term for all lotuses, padma (पद्म) more appropriately covers only those varieties that unfurl their petals at sunrise and close up at night; kairava (कैरव), on the other hand, is a particular white lotus (or perhaps water-lily) that blossoms at moonrise (I have been unable to find out if it is identified with any plant described in present-day botany). Evidently, Vasudeva likens the academies run by himself and Pakshadhara to a day-lotus and night-lotus respectively based on his perception of the former's superiority (the day being considered superior to the night). But, what is not clear to me is why he emphasizes the femininity of the word kairaviNI (कैरविणी), "a clump of night-lotuses", by qualifying it with the term ramaNI (रमणी), "woman" / "beautiful woman" / "wife". Is he trying to demean Pakshadhara (making this an instance of male chauvinism), or is he showing his respect for his rival by acknowledging the "beauty" of the latter's scholarship and pedagogy? Or is it just because the place-name mithilA (मिथिला) has the feminine gender in Sanskrit, while navadvIpa (नवद्वीप) is non-feminine? Whatever the reason, this feminization of Raghunatha's "foreign" education runs as a common thread through the entire conversation.

Devanagari text:

त्वं पीयूष दिवोऽपि भूषणमसि द्राक्षे परीक्षेत को
माधुर्यं तव विश्वतो हि विदिता माध्वीक माध्वीकता|
किन्त्वेकन्त्वपरन्त्वरुन्तुदमपि ब्रूमो न चेत् कुप्यसि
यः कान्ताधरपल्लवे मधुरिमा नान्यत्र कुत्रापि सः||

– रघुनाथशिरोमणि

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

tvaM pIyUSa divo(a)pi bhUSaNamasi drAkSe parIkSeta ko
mAdhuryaM tava vizvato hi viditA mAdhvIka mAdhvIkatA| 

kintvekantvaparantvaruntudamapi brUmo na cet kupyasi
yaH kAntAdharapallave madhurimA nAnyatra kutrApi saH||

– Raghunatha Shiromani

Loose translation: O Nectar! You are verily an ornament of paradise! O (Fruit of the) Grapevine! Who is capable of passing judgment on how sweet you are? O Sweet Wine (see notes)! Your superior taste is universally acknowledged. But, there is this heart-rending truth that I must tell you, and I hope it does not anger you – the sweetness that exists in the tender lips of a beautiful / beloved woman can never be found elsewhere.

Explanation: Quite cleverly, Raghunatha begins by comparing Vasudeva's teaching to three of the most delicious substances in heaven and earth before breaking his heart with one fell sweep of a well-established poetic trope (kavisamaya (कविसमय)) – declaring the lips of one's love interest to be more delectable than even nectar or wine! You might want to check this post out, too.

Notes: mAdhvIka (माध्वीक), or the feminine form mAdhvI (माध्वी), is an alcoholic beverage frequently spoken of in Indic literature. The names madhumAdhvIka (मधुमाध्वीक) and mAdhavaka (माधवक) are also found. This drink is said to be prepared either from madhu (मधु), i.e. honey, or from the flowers of the mahua tree, Madhuca longifolia, called madhuka (मधुक) in Sanskrit (the latter is more likely to be correct, see this). Note that madhu (मधु) is also a generic name for any spirituous liquor. 

Utterly deflated by his brilliant student's words, Vasudeva closed the conversation with the following allusive snippet.

Devanagari text:

यस्या जन्मान्यवंशे वसतिरपि तथा*¹ दूरदेशे पुरासीत्
सैषा भूत्वा वधूटी प्रकटितविनया वेश्ममध्यं प्रविश्य|
आजन्मप्राणतुल्यान् गुरुजनजननीसोदरान् बन्धुवर्गान्*²
दूरीकृत्य*³ स्वगेहात् पतिमभिरमते*⁴ धिग् गृहस्थाश्रमं तम्*⁵||
Variants: *¹ सदा; *² अन्तरङ्गान्; *³ दूरं कृत्वा *⁴ पतिमनुरमते *⁵ गृहस्थाश्रमं नः / गृहस्थाश्रमस्थान्

– वासुदेवसार्वभौम

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

yasyA janmAnyavaMze vasatirapi tathA dUradeze purAsIt
saiSA bhUtvA vadhUTI prakaTitavinayA vezmamadhyaM pravizya| 

AjanmaprANatulyAn gurujanajananIsodarAn bandhuvargAn
dUrIkRtya svagehAt patimabhiramate dhig gRhasthAzramaM tam||

– Vasudeva Sarvabhauma

Loose translation: Born into another family, she spends her early life far away; then she becomes a daughter-in-law and enters (another's) house under the guise of modesty; finally she drives away her husband's elders, his mother, his brothers, and other relatives, who used to be as dear to him as life itself, from their own dwelling, so as to have him all to herself – fie on family life!

Explanation: I believe that the above verse is composed from the perspective of said woman's father-in-law (or any in-law who feels wronged by her) with whom Vasudeva identifies – Raghunatha is the uxorious young man, and the learning (vidyA (विद्या)) he acquired at Mithila the jealous wife who has dispelled everything and everyone else from his mind.

---

Sources: 
This triad of couplets, with minor variations, is quoted as an exchange between a teacher and his student in two modern anthologies (although the individual verses can be found elsewhere as well): Udbhata Shloka Maalaa (1937), Appendix (परिशिष्टश्लोकाः), Verses 87-89; Udbhata Kavita Kaumudi (उद्भटकविताकौमुदी), compiled by Nilmani Bidyalankar Bhattacharya and published in 1890 in Calcutta, Verses 89-91; the attribution to Vasudeva Sarvabhauma and Raghunatha Shiromani is noted in the former only. The episode is apocryphal. 

Late 15th century 'ragging'

Raghunatha Shiromani (रघुनाथशिरोमणि), one of the leading exponents of the Navya Nyaya (नव्यन्याय) school of Indic philosophy, was born in Nabadwip (नवद्वीप), Bengal, in c. 1477 CE. For his valuable academic contributions, he enjoyed semi-legendary status in Bengal until at least the early 20th century. Naturally, there is a large body of unverified anecdotes about him and impromptu epigrams attributed to him. I recount one such anecdote below.

At the age of twenty, Raghunatha traveled to Mithila to join the Chatuspathi (चतुष्पाठी, a residential academy imparting Vedic education) run by Pakshadhara Mishra (पक्षधरमिश्र), who was at that time the foremost Navya Nyaya scholar, as a pupil. Raghunatha was born with only one functional eye, which earned him nicknames like Kana Ragunath (কানা রঘুনাথ), Kana Bhatta (কানা ভট্ট), and Kana Shiromani (কানা শিরোমণি), the Bengali word Kana (Sanskrit kANa (काण)) meaning "one-eyed". The Maithila students of Pakshadhara, being students, allegedly greeted the newcomer from Bengal with the following couplet.

Devanagari text:

आखण्डलः सहस्राक्षो विरूपाक्षस्त्रिलोचनः|

वयं द्विलोचनाः सर्वे को भवानेकलोचनः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

AkhaNDalaH sahasrAkSo virUpAkSastrilocanaH|
vayaM dvilocanAH sarve ko bhavAnekalocanaH||

Loose translation: Indra has a thousand eyes, and Shiva has three. We are all two-eyed here. Who, then, are you, one-eyed gentleman?
[An alternative reading, where the first word vayaM (वयं), "we", of the second hemistich is replaced with anye (अन्ये), "others", is also documented.]

According to some sources, the above words were spoken by Pakshadhara himself. The question could also have been posed to Raghunatha, to test his presence of mind, by one of the five interviewers or dvArapaNDitas (द्वारपण्डित), "doorway scholars", employed by Pakshadhara at the entrance to his academy, whom one had to satisfy in order to gain admittance to the hallowed grounds. (Of course, the entire episode might have been invented by one of Raghunatha's admirers.)

Ragging, hazing, or bullying – whatever you want to call it – Raghunatha was not one to take it lying down. It is also known from various sources that humility was one quality he did not have. Unfazed, he responded and introduced himself in the following verse, just altering some of the words of the taunting question hurled at him.

Devanagari text:

आखण्डलः सहस्राक्षो विरूपाक्षस्त्रिलोचनः|

यूयं विलोचनाः सर्वे वयं न्यायैकलोचनाः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

AkhaNDalaH sahasrAkSo virUpAkSastrilocanaH|
yUyaM vilocanAH sarve vayaM nyAyaikalocanaH||

Loose translation: Indra may have a thousand eyes, and Shiva may have three. You are all devoid of vision, but I see only through the eye of Nyaya (implying that I am the only one possessing true vision).

Sources: "Personalities of Navya Nyaya", Sri Kamakoti Mandali. I came across a slightly different version of the story (which I intend to post later) in the Bengali book Sahityik Kautuki (সাহিত্যিক-কৌতুকী), "writers having fun" (roughly), published in 1961.

Notes: To the best of my knowledge, there is no single English-language equivalent of the technical term Nyaya; it denotes an ancient and sophisticated branch of study that has significant overlaps with several present-day academic disciplines such as logic, epistemology, and ontology. Nyaya is traditionally ascribed to Akshapada Gautama (अक्षपादगौतम), and the Navya Nyaya phase in the evolution of this philosophic system was formally founded in the 13th century CE by Gangesha Upadhyaya.

Marital bliss

Contrary to what some readers of this blog might have come to believe, forbidden romance was not the only subject matter Sanskrit littérateurs applied themselves to; many of them also paid tribute to the sanctity of marriage and the joys of domestic life. Below is a sampling of solemn and sophisticated everyday conversations that bear testimony to the depth of feelings that long-time spouses sometimes harbor for each other. What makes these snippets particularly interesting is that the original exchanges almost surely occurred in a popular native tongue, and the authors decided to translate them into a language that is typically associated with elitism and erudition.

Since I feel that English does not do justice to either verse, I also provide translations in the (informal registers of the) only two other Indic languages I know, Hindustani and Bengali, in my notes below.

(1) Devanagari text:

क्षारं राद्धमिदं किमद्य दयिते राध्नोषि किं न स्वयमाः पापे प्रतिजल्पसे प्रतिदिनं पापस्त्वदीयः पिता|
धिक्त्वां क्रोधमुखीमलीकमुखरस्त्वत्तोऽपि कः क्रोधनो दम्पत्योरिति नित्यदत्तकलहक्लेशान्तयोः किं सुखम्||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

kSAraM rAddhaM kimadya dayite rAdhnoSi kiM na svayamAH pape pratijalpase pratidinaM pApastvadIyaH pitA| 

dhiktvAM krodhamukhImalIkamukharastvatto(a)pi kaH krodhano dampatyoriti nityadattakalahaklezayAntayoH kiM sukham||

– Anonymous

A. N. D. Haksar's translation:  
'Why is the food so salty dear?'
'Why don't you cook it on your own?'
'Hell! Don't you answer back like this!'
'To hell yourself! Your father too!'
'Damn you for your angry words!'
'You liar! Who gets angry more?'
With the couple always bickering,
can their torment ever end 
and there be some joy? 

Source: 15th century Subhaashitaavali verse 2379.

(2) Devanagari text:

आः पाकं न करोषि पापिनि कथं पापी त्वदीयः पिता रण्डे जल्पसि किं तवैव जननी रण्डा त्वदीया स्वसा|
निर्गच्छ त्वरितं गृहाद्बहिरितो नेदं त्वदीयं गृहं हा हा नाथ ममाद्य देहि मरणं जारस्य भाग्योदयः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

AH pAkaM na karoSi pApini kathaM pApI tvadIyaH pitA raNDe jalpasi kiM tavaiva jananI raNDA tvadIyA svasA| 

nirgaccha tvaritaM gRhAdbahirito nedaM tvadIyaM gRhaM hA hA nAtha mamAdya dehi maraNaM jArasya bhAgyodayaH||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: 
'Ah! Why don't you cook, you vile woman?'
'Vile? That would be your father!'
'Whore! How dare you talk back to me?'
'Your mother's a whore! And so is your sister!'
'Get out of this house!'
'This isn't your house!'
'O Lord! Please take my life right now!'
'Looks like my lover's fortunes are finally turning around!'

Source: Subhashita Ratna Bhandagara asatIcaritram (असतीचरित्रम्), "exploits of the adulteress", verse 51.

Notes:  I apologize in advance for some of the swearwords used in the following translations.

	Hindustani	Bengali
(1)	पति: पकवान में इतना नमक क्यों डाला है, भागवान? पत्नी: ख़ुद क्यों नहीं पका लेते? पति: आह! हर दिन बहस करती है, पापिन! पत्नी: पापी तुम्हारा बाप! पति: छी! छी! चिड़चिड़ी औरत! पत्नी: तुमसे ज़्यादा बकवास-करनेवाला चिड़चिड़ा इनसान और कौन हो सकता है? – इन रोज़ के झगड़ों से एक-दूसरे को ठेस पहुँचाते हुए पति-पत्नी को कौनसा सुख मिलता है?	স্বামী: ওগো, রান্নায় এত নুন দিয়েছ কেন? স্ত্রী: নিজে কেন রাঁধ না? স্বামী: আঃ! রোজ রোজ তর্ক করতে হবে, পাপিষ্ঠে! স্ত্রী: পাপিষ্ঠ তোমার বাপ! স্বামী: ছ্যা! ছ্যা! খিটখিটে মেয়েমানুষ! স্ত্রী: তোমার চেয়ে বেশি বাজে-বকা খিটখিটে লোক আর কে আছে? – দিন-দিন এমনভাবে ঝগড়া করে একে অপরের হাড় জ্বালিয়ে স্বামী-স্ত্রী কী সুখ পায়?
(2)	पति: आह! खाना क्यों नहीं पकाती पापिन? पत्नी: पापी तुम्हारा बाप! पति: बहस करती है, रांड? पत्नी: रांड तुम्हारी माँ, तुम्हारी बहन! पति: अभी निकल इस घर से! पत्नी: तुम्हारा घर नहीं है यह! पति: हे भगवान! मुझे आज मौत दे दो! पत्नी: तब तो मेरे यार के भाग खुल जाएँ!	স্বামী: আঃ! রান্না কর না কেন, পাপিষ্ঠে? স্ত্রী: পাপিষ্ঠ তোমার বাপ! স্বামী: তর্ক করা হচ্ছে, রাঁড়? স্ত্রী: রাঁড় তোমার মা, তোমার বোন! স্বামী: এখনি বেরিয়ে যা বাড়ি থেকে! স্ত্রী: তোমার বাড়ি নয় এটা! স্বামী: হে ভগবান! আজই মরণ হোক আমার! স্ত্রী: তাহলে তো নাঙের কপাল ফেরে!