Today's nugget of humor (sanguine humor, more precisely) comes from the relatively recent farce Hasyarnava (हास्यार्णव), "the ocean of laughter / comedy", penned by Jagadishwara Bhattacharya, which I quoted once in this post. The character from this play that I want you to meet now is Raktakallola (रक्तकल्लोल), "a wave of blood", a member of the napita (नापित) caste; napita is usually translated as "barber" but you should read the previous post for a more detailed account of the professional duties of this caste. As he enters the stage, Raktakallola introduces himself with the bravado of a war hero in the following pair of couplets.
मयि क्षुरं गृह्णति मानुषाणां भवेक्षणाशा तनुतामुपैति|
स्ववृत्तिनिर्वाहपरे च रक्तचयोर्मिमालाकुलिता तनुः स्यात्||
आर्तनादमधिकं प्रकुर्वतां हस्तपादगलबन्धपीडनात्|
यं छिनद्मि नखरं नृणामहं स प्ररोहति पुनर्न जन्मना||
स्ववृत्तिनिर्वाहपरे च रक्तचयोर्मिमालाकुलिता तनुः स्यात्||
आर्तनादमधिकं प्रकुर्वतां हस्तपादगलबन्धपीडनात्|
यं छिनद्मि नखरं नृणामहं स प्ररोहति पुनर्न जन्मना||
– जगदीश्वरभट्टाचार्य
mayi kSuraM gRhNati mAnuSANAM bhavekSaNAzA tanutAmupaiti|
svavRttinirvAhapare ca raktacayormimAlAkulitA tanuH syAt||
ArtanAdamadhikaM prakurvatAM hastapAdagalabandhapIDanAt|
yaM chinadmi nakharaM nRNAmahaM sa prarohati punarna janmanA||
ArtanAdamadhikaM prakurvatAM hastapAdagalabandhapIDanAt|
yaM chinadmi nakharaM nRNAmahaM sa prarohati punarna janmanA||
– Jagadishwara Bhattacharya
Loose translation: When I grab my razor, the hope of seeing the world (ever again) fades away from (the minds of) human beings (i.e. my customers); and, as I engage in my trade, their bodies are all aquiver with rippling streams of blood.
After I am done "paring" the nails of men, screaming intensely from the pain in their tied hands, feet, and neck, it usually turns out that those nails never grow back in their lifetime.
Source: Verses 38 and 39 of Hasyarnava, which, like most other Sanskrit plays, is partly in prose and partly in verse.
Notes: The playwright describes Raktakallola's entry as follows:
The first couplet might be a reference to the known practice, prevalent particularly in Bengal, of hiring a napita to make a ritual cut in the body of a high-caste man for a sacrifice of blood (raktabali (रक्तबलि)) to the Mother Goddess and / or her attendant spirits.
I think the second verse is much funnier than the first: Not only does this barber hold very unconventional views on how to control nail growth but he also has so much confidence in the effect he is going to have on his customers that he makes sure to tie them up well before rendering his services :)
After I am done "paring" the nails of men, screaming intensely from the pain in their tied hands, feet, and neck, it usually turns out that those nails never grow back in their lifetime.
Source: Verses 38 and 39 of Hasyarnava, which, like most other Sanskrit plays, is partly in prose and partly in verse.
Notes: The playwright describes Raktakallola's entry as follows:
ततः प्रविशति रक्तलिप्ताङ्गेन पौरजनेन अञ्चलगृहीतो रक्तकल्लोलः
(Enter Raktakallola with a blood-smeared city-dweller clutching on to the loose end of the former's upper garment.)
It is as if he is carrying hard evidence of the lofty claims about his "skills" he intends to make. It is also interesting that Jagadishwara makes the barber deliver the above lines (and these lines only) in Sanskrit rather than in a Prakrit tongue that would be more appropriate given his social standing (according to the rules of Indic dramaturgy), as if to mimic the pompous self-promoting speech of a Kshatriya warrior.The first couplet might be a reference to the known practice, prevalent particularly in Bengal, of hiring a napita to make a ritual cut in the body of a high-caste man for a sacrifice of blood (raktabali (रक्तबलि)) to the Mother Goddess and / or her attendant spirits.
I think the second verse is much funnier than the first: Not only does this barber hold very unconventional views on how to control nail growth but he also has so much confidence in the effect he is going to have on his customers that he makes sure to tie them up well before rendering his services :)
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