Recipes for scholarship 2

As promised, here is the second installment of age-old tips for the quick attainment of academic reputation (Subhaashitaavali Verses 2384 and 2385).

(3) Devanagari text:

निःशङ्कं यत्तदुच्चैर्वद कुरु विकटं स्वाननं ज्ञानगर्वाच्छ्लाघस्वात्मानमन्यान् भष हस सहसा किंचिदश्लीलमुक्त्वा|
सावद्यं खण्डखाद्यं पठ विवद समुत्कर्षयन्मूर्खलोकानिच्छेश्चेत्सूरिभावं जडजनपुरतो मूर्खवृन्दारकोऽपि||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

niHzaGkaM yattaduccairvada kuru vikaTam svAnanaM jJAnagarvAcchlAghasvAtmAnamanyAn bhaSa hasa sahasA kiMcidazlIlamuktvA| 

sAvadyaM khaNDakhAdyaM paTha vivada samutkarSayanmUrkhalokAnicchezcetsUribhAvaM jaDajanapurato mUrkhavRndArako(a)pi||

Loose translation: Spew sheer nonsense, but do so fearlessly and stridently; make hideous faces to show your pride in your knowledge; bang your own drum, and do not forget to rail against others at the same time; every now and then, say something indecorous and laugh (at your own joke); do not forget to study the vile Khandana Khanda Khadya thoroughly (or read / recite / quote the Khandana Khanda Khadya contemptuously); engage in debates to establish the superiority of morons – be sure to do all of the above if you want to be hailed as a sage by dullards, in spite of being an ignoramus of the highest grade yourself.

Notes: I believe the word khaNDakhAdya (खण्डखाद्य) in the verse above refers to the famous Khandana Khanda Khadya (खण्डनखण्डखाद्य), "candies of refutations", a polemical treatise written by Sri Harsha in the 12th century, attacking the Nyaya system of Indic philosophy (and purportedly in favor of the Advaita Vedanta school of thought). This book has its fair share of both admirers and detractors, so it is not clear to me if our anonymous poet uses the word sAvdyaM (सावद्यं) here as an adjective of its name (in which case, the word should be read as "inferior / imperfect") or as an adverb of the imperative "read" (पठ) to mean "with censure".

(4) Devanagari text:

व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैश्चोद्यैः सलीलं भषन्नुच्चैर्जल्प निमील्य लोचनयुगं श्लोकान्सगर्वं पठन्|
काव्यं स्वीकुरु यत्परैर्विरचितं स्पर्धस्व साकं बुधैर्यद्यभ्यर्थयसे श्रुतेन रहितः पाण्डित्यमाप्तुं बलात्||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

vyAsAdInkavipuMgavAnanucitaizcodyaiH salIlaM bhaSannuccairjalpa nimIlya locanayugaM zlokAnsagarvaM paThan| 

kAvyaM svIkuru yatparairviracitaM spardhasva sAkaM budhairyadyabhyarthayase zrutena rathitaH pANDityamAptuM balAt||

A. N. D. Haksar's translation in English verse: 

For scholarship a reputation

if you wish to gain perforce,

even though to sacred learning

you have never had recourse:

then as your own, claim others' works,

stand proud as you recite some verse

with half-closed eyes, and be dramatic

while running down in language terse

Vyasa and the other lions

of literature in days gone by;

as for the learned men at present,

challenge them, their skills decry.

Notes: I think the first few words व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैश्चोद्यैः सलीलं भषन् deserve special attention. To the best of my knowledge, codya (चोद्य) refers to a "difficult question" raised in order to initiate a debate, or a position picked by a logician to refute in the process of establishing their own thesis (also called pUrvapakSa (पूर्वपक्ष)). Hence, the above excerpt can be read as "jeering at eminent authors like Vyasa by posing inappropriate questions / raising controversies". I wonder what kind of questions or topics for debate would be deemed inappropriate by the poet and their intended audience. 

The 14th century Shaarngadharapaddhati contains a slightly different version (Verse 205) of the above verse: The first quarter व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैश्चोद्यैः सलीलं भषन् is replaced with व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैर्वाक्यैः सलीलं हसन् (with no significant change to the meaning); the first verse ends in पठ and not पठन्; काव्यं स्वीकुरु यत्परैर्विरचितं is recorded as काव्यं धिक्कुरु यत्परैर्विरचितं which means "deride others' works" rather than "claim others' works as your own"; in lieu of साकं, we have the synonymous सार्धं.

---

The above quotes indicate that, while there has always been a tremendous diversity of thought in South Asia, followers of competing academic traditions never shied away from subjecting one another to carping criticism. 

Recipes for scholarship 1

In verses 2300, 2383, 2384, and 2385 of the 15th century Subhaashitaavaali, unnamed poets have left behind valuable tips for gaining academic reputation easily. The first two of this set are quoted below, the rest will appear in a future post. 

(1) Devanagari text:

जिह्वायाश्छेदनं नास्ति न तालुपतनाद्भयम्|
निर्विशङ्केन वक्तव्यं वाचालः को न पण्डितः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

jihvAyAzchedanaM nAsti na tAlupatanAdbhayam| 

nirvizaGkena vaktavyaM vAcAlaH ko na paNDitaH||

A.N.D. Haksar's translation: 

There is no fear

your palate will split

or your tongue be pulled out;

so, freely speak:

a man loquacious

is deemed perspicacious.

Notes: This is an example of extreme verbal irony where the speaker is so annoyed at the incessant prattling of a person they deem foolish that they wish the prattler's tongue would detach itself or the roof of their mouth would cave in. The word tAlupatana (तालुपतन), which Haksar translates as "split[ting]" of the palate, literally means "falling of the palate"; nirvizaGkena (translated as "freely") is, more appropriately, "without fear / worry".

(2) Devanagari text:

नाम ग्रन्थकृतां गृहाण विबुधोपाध्यायचर्चां कुरु ग्रन्थानां भव सत्परिग्रहकृती स्पर्धस्व साकं बुधैः|
नानाहस्तविचित्रचालनपरश्चोच्चैः सशब्दं हसन्निच्छेश्चेद्बुधतां पुरो जडधियामत्यन्तमूर्खोऽपि सन्||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

nAma granthakRtAM gRhANa vibudhopAdhyAyacarcAM kuru granthAnAM bhava satparigrahakRtI spardhasva sAkaM budhaiH| 

nAnAhastavicitracAlanaparazcoccaiH sazabdaM hasannicchezcedbudhatAM puro jaDadhiyAmatyantamUrkho(a)pi san||

A. N. D. Haksar's translation in English verse: 

If, even though an utter fool,

you wish knowledgeable to appear

before a group of dull-wits, then

speak of eminent persons there,

take names of well-known authors,

display some books of quality,

some learned scholars vilify,

wave hands and laugh uproariously.

Notes: In my opinion, a better reading of the word vibudhopAdhyAyacarcA (विबुधोपाध्यायचर्चा), which Haksar translates  as "speak[ing] of eminent persons", is "talking about learned teachers". Wikipedia offers some interesting information on the word upAdhyAya (उपाध्याय); to the best of my knowledge, the word ojhA (ओझा, ওঝা) derives from upAdhyAya (Prakrit: उअज्झाअ or something similar).

To be continued.

The penman

Verses 508, 509, and 510 of the anthology Vajjalaggam, quoted below, constitute the lehayavajjA (लेहयवज्जा; Sanskrit lekhakavrajyA (लेखकव्रज्या)), "the chapter on the penman". Here, lekhaka refers to a man who charges money for writing letters by hand on behalf of others who are presumably illiterate. 

Today's quotes are written from the perspective of dissatisfied female customers chiding male "letter-writers" for completely failing at their job. The language is stylized Maharashtri Prakrit but sadly the authors are unknown. The Sanskrit renderings are by the commentator Ratnadeva (रत्नदेव), unless otherwise noted.

(1) Devanagari text:

मसि मलिऊण न याणासि लेहणि गहिऊण मूढ खलिओ सि|

ओसरसु कूडलेहय सुललियपत्तं विणासिहिसि||
(मषीं (वीर्यं) मर्दितुं न जानासि लेखनीं (शेफं) ग्रहीतुं मूढ स्खलितोऽसि|
अपसर कूटलेखक सुललितपत्त्रं (शय्याप्रच्छादनपटं) विनाशयिष्यसि||)

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

masi maliUNa n yANAsi lehaNi gahiUNa mUDha khalio si|

osarasu kUDalehaya sulaliyapattaM viNAsihisi||

Loose translation: You don't know how to squeeze the ink out! You are so clumsy even as you try to hold your pen (in the right position), you moron! Get out, good-for-nothing writer, you are just going to ruin the tender writing sheet (presumably, a treated palm-leaf strip used as a writing surface)!
[For the true import, Ratnadeva urges you to replace "ink" with a certain body fluid, "pen" with a certain body part, and "writing sheet" with "bed sheet".]

Notes: According to Pathak, for an erotic reading, the Prakrit sulaliyapattaM (सुललियपत्तं) should be Sanskritized as sulalitapAtraM (सुललितपात्रं), "a tender  / sweet receptacle",  a euphemism for another body part. 

(2) Devanagari text:

ढलिया य मसी भग्गा य लेहणी खरडियं च तलवट्टं|

धिद्धि त्ति कूडलेहय अज्ज वि लेहत्तणे तण्हा||

(स्खलिता च मषी (वीर्यं) भग्ना च लेखनी (शेफो) भग्नं च तालपत्त्रम्* (शय्याप्रच्छादनपटं)| 
धिग्धिगिति कूटलेखकाद्यापि लेखने** (यभने) तृष्णा||
*तलपट्टम् , **लेखकत्वे – Pathak)

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

DhaliyA ya masI maggA ya lehaNI kharaDiyaM ca talavaTTaM|
dhiddhi tti kUDalehaya ajja vi lehattaNe taNhA||

Loose translation: All the ink has leaked out, the pen is broken, and the palm-leaf sheet is ripped! And you still want to go on writing?! Fie on you, you worthless writer!
[See (1) above for the implications of "ink", "pen", and "palm-leaf sheet"; in addition, replace "writing" with a certain activity that does not require literacy. Moreover, "broken" must be (hopefully) taken figuratively, as in verse (2) of this post.]

Notes: One of the Prakrit words that makes the pun work is talavaTTaM (तलवट्टं) which can be Sanskritized either as tAlapattram (तालपत्त्रम्), "palm-leaf sheet" or talapaTTam (तलपट्टम्) ,"a piece of cloth to be spread underneath oneself or over a flat surface".

(3) Devanagari text:

पिहुलं मसिभायणयं अत्थि मसी वित्थरं च तलवट्टं|

अम्हारिसाण कज्जे हयलेहय लेहणी भग्गा||

(पृथुलं मषीभाजनमस्ति मषी विस्तरं* च तालपत्त्रम्**| 
अस्मादृशीनां कार्ये हतलेखक लेखनी भग्ना||
*विस्तृतं, **(वराङ्गम्) – Pathak)

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

pihulaM masibhAyaNayaM atthi masI vittharaM ca talavaTTaM|
amhArisANa kajje hayalehaya lehaNI bhaggA||

Loose translation: You have such a large ink-pot, and (presumably) such copious amounts of ink; and you have been given such a large palm-leaf sheet to boot. Yet, when it came time to do the job for me, you had to go and bust your pen, you sad excuse for a scribe!
[Replace "ink-pot" with a certain sac involved in the production of a certain fluid; the rest can be inferred from (1) and (2) above.]

Epic comeback

In order to appreciate today's quote, one must have a fair amount of familiarity with the Indian epic Mahabharata (महाभारत). And if one does meet this criterion, they might start seeing what they know in a new light.

One of the principal characters in this saga is Draupadi (द्रौपदी), the common wife of the five Pandava (पाण्डव) brothers of Hastinapura (हस्तिनापुर) whose hostilities with their cousins, the hundred Kauravas (कौरव), drive the central narrative. An unnamed poet imagines a situation in which Duryodhana (दुर्योधन), the eldest of the Kauravas, tries to shame Draupadi for having five husbands, and she snaps right back at him with the following words.

Devanagari text:

श्वश्रूश्वश्रूपती द्वौ च श्वश्रूपतिचतुष्टयम्|

ममापि पतयः पञ्च पतिवर्धि कुलं मम||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

zvazrUzvazrUpatI dvau ca zvazrUpaticatuSTayam|
mamApi patayaH paJca pativardhi kulaM mama||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: My mother-in-law's mother-in-law has two husbands; my mother-in-law has four; I have five – (evidently,) the number of husbands a woman has increases (with every generation) in our family line.

Source: Early 20th century anthology Udbhata Shloka Maalaa, Additional Verses (परिशिष्टश्लोकाः), Verse 69. I don't think this composition is very old. 

Explanation: This is Draupadi's way of pointing out to Duryodhana that even before she married into his (extended) family, he had no shortage of female relatives who had been intimate with multiple men. This would imply that her status as a polyandrous woman had more to do with the values and traditions of her detractor's family than with her own character or preferences. Indeed, Draupadi never took five husbands of her own accord, and was compelled to do so by a strange sequence of events that the author(s) of the original epic and later commentators have gone to great lengths to justify /  explain away.

However, to make complete sense of Draupadi's rejoinder, we must slightly extend the meaning of the word 'husband' (पति) to include any man one has slept with but is not necessarily married to. Draupadi's mother-in-law's mother-in-law and Duryodhana's step-grandmother Ambalika (अम्बालिका) was married to King Vichitravirya (विचित्रवीर्य) of Hastinapura who died issueless; so, in keeping with contemporary social customs, Vichitravirya's mother Satyavati (सत्यवती) summoned her eldest son Vyasa (व्यास), who was himself sired by Parashara (पराशर) before she became queen consort to King Shantanu (शान्तन्तु), to impregnate Ambalika as well as her sister and co-wife Ambika (अम्बिका) in order to save the dynasty from extinction. This is how Pandu (पाण्डु), Ambalika's son and Draupadi's (legal) father-in-law, was born. This explains the alleged biandry of Draupadi's grandmother-in-law.

Pandu had a curse put on him by a rishi that he would die if and when he engaged in lovemaking. So, his wife Kunti (कुन्ती), Duryodhana's aunt through marriage and one of Draupadi's two mothers-in-law, had to use a spell to invoke the deities Dharma (धर्म), Vayu (वायु), and Indra (इन्द्र) to 'bless' her with male progeny who would carry Pandu's name. Long before her marriage to Pandu, however, she had borne a son of the sun god Surya (सूर्य) when she was experimenting with said spell. So, technically, five men could claim to be Kunti's 'husbands'. Why, then, would Draupadi speak of just four? Presumably, the above conversation happened before the battle of Kurukshetra (perhaps during the infamous episode of the game of dice in which men of the Kaurava camp are known to have tortured Draupadi, both physically and mentally, in many ways) so that neither Duryodhana nor Draupadi would know of Kunti and Surya's tryst. However, poets who enjoyed putting such interesting twists on well-known mythological themes sometimes made their characters act in certain situations as if they knew things they were not supposed to know at that point in the original story. In that case, this could be an allusion to the possibility that Pandu and Kunti never got to consummate their marriage, implying that Kunti had been intimate with the above four gods only.  

Additional notes: Snippets like these can be viewed as precursors to modern-day 'fan theories' and 'fanfics' based on popular works of fiction. 

It is also noteworthy how Draupadi like a dutiful daughter-in-law calls the Kuru dynasty "my family" (कुलं मम) even as she is arguing with a scion of the same lineage.

The diagnosis

Today's offering is more likely to make you cringe or wince than it is to put a smile on your face, so please proceed at your own risk. Also, feel free to check out the first two posts in this vein here and here.

Devanagari text:

स्फीतोऽयं जठरः स्तनौ गुरुतरौ श्यामे च मे चूचुके
को रोगो वद वैद्यराज विधवे किं भोः कुपथ्यं कृतम्|
एकः कोऽपि युवा किमेव कृतवान् नाभेरधस्तान्नु मे
रोगोऽयं विषमस्तवैष दशमे मासि स्वयं यास्यति||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

sphIto(a)yaM jaTharaH stanau gurutarau zyAme ca me cUcuke
ko rogo vada vaidyarAja vidhave kiM bhoH kupathyaM kRtam| 

ekaH ko(a)pi yuvA kimeva kRtavAn nAbheradhastAnnu me
rogo(a)yaM viSamastavaiSa dazame mAse svayaM yAsyati||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: 
Patient: My abdomen is swollen, my breasts feel heavier (than usual), and my nipples have turned darker. O great doctor! Pray tell, what is my illness?
Doctor: O widowed lady! Did you do something unhealthy?
Patient: Well, there was this young man who did something weird below my navel.
Doctor: Your disease is serious but it will depart by itself in the tenth month (from the event you mentioned).

Source:  Shlokamanjari (श्लोकमञ्जरी), "an inflorescence of verses", compiled by none other than Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar, published in 1890, Appendix, Verse 40. 

Notes:  Vidyasagar documents variants in which the first few words are "उच्चोऽयं जठरः" instead of "स्फीतोऽयं जठरः" and the third quarter ends with "अधस्तात् पुरा" rather than "अधस्तान्नु मे"; these do not significantly alter the meaning.

Seen through a modern lens, this snippet was evidently meant to amuse an audience with a crass sense of humor, and now comes across as a rather poignant testament to social evils that were rampant in its author's lifetime. In consequence of a set of strict and complicated rules governing marital compatibility, many girls were given in marriage to much older, dowry-collecting, polygamous men who would often leave them in the care of their parents, and visit them occasionally, if at all. This led to a large number of young widows who, having little knowledge of romance or sex, were easy prey for opportunistic libertines. And men of letters, instead of trying to fix the situation, were busy poking fun at the victims.

It is also worthwhile to mention here that today's quote is one of forty verses that Vidyasagar was initially hesitant to include in the anthology because of their risqué nature but, after deliberating with like-minded peers, finally decided to publish in the form of an appendix: He chose the preservation of artistic expressions over censorship, regardless of what he himself thought of their quality.

Insatiability 2

Here's another batch of lowly lechers' ludicrous lamentations. 

(1) Devanagari text:

सुरतं तदेव सुरतं यत्नाल्लब्धं यदन्यनारीषु|
सन्तत्यै दाररतिः कण्डूशमनाय चेटिकागमनम्||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

surataM tadeva surataM yatnAllabdhaM yadanyanArISu| 

santatyai dAraratiH kaNDUzamanAya ceTikAgamanam||

– Anonymous

Loose translation:  That which is obtained from "another woman" after much effort is real lovemaking; intercourse with the wife is just for procreation, and with maidservants (or slave-girls), it is (like) scratching an itch!

Source: Samayocitapadyamalika (समयोचितपद्यमालिका) "a wreath of verses appropriate for (various) occasions", i.e. "a collection of quotable verses", 5th ed. (published 1914), verse 20 of the chapter focusing on words that start with the consonant k (क्).

(2) Devanagari text:

इन्दुर्यत्र न निन्द्यते न मधुरं दूतीवचः श्रूयते नोच्छ्वासा हृदयं दहन्त्यशिशिरा नोपैति कार्श्यं वपुः|
स्वाधीनामनुकूलिकां स्वगृहिणीमालिङ्ग्य यत्सुप्यते तत्किं प्रेम गृहाश्रमव्रतमिदं कष्टं समाचर्यते||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

induryatra na nindyate na madhuraM dUtIvacaH zrUyate nocchvAsA hRdayaM dahantyazizirA nopaiti kArzyaM vapuH| 

svAdhinAmanukUlikAM svagRhiNImAliGgya yatsupyate tatkiM prema gRhAzramavratamidAm kaSTaM samAcaryate||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: Neither is the moon cursed (see notes) nor are the sweet words of a go-between ever heard (see notes); his heart is never scalded by his own warm sighs, and his body does not waste away. He just sleeps with his arms wrapped around his docile and faithful wife. Is this love? (No!) He is just, religiously and painfully, performing the duties of a householder. 

Source: 14th century Shaarngadharapaddhati Verse 3782 – the final verse of the asatIcaritram (असतीचरित्रम्), "the exploits of the adulteress". 

Notes:  The moon is often portrayed as a tormentor of separated lovers in spite of being a delight to the rest of the world. So, when the poet talks about the revilement of the moon, they are alluding to pining for the beloved – an idea elaborated on by references to sighing and withering away later in the first half-verse. 

The dUtI (दूती), a female negotiator dispatched by a lover to convey their longing and pain to their love interest and hopefully set up a tryst, is a stock character in romantic compositions; the entire sub-genre of dUtakAvyas is a highly imaginative take on this messenger trope. For star-crossed lovers forced to stay apart, the dUtI is sometimes the only confidante and so her words are the only relief for their aching hearts.

It can be argued that this snippet is not necessarily expressive of a craving for extra-marital affairs; it could just be read as the wistful musings of a person tired of their humdrum married life and wishing that they were instead involved in a youthful romance with all its pains and pleasures. But since the most celebrated love stories in Sanskrit belles-lettres are of the scandalous kind (at least from a modern reader's point of view), I would say that the anthologist Shaarngadhara is justified in including this stanza in his chapter on adultery.

In the Subhashita Ratna Bhandagara, the words nopaiti (नोपैति) towards the end of the first half are replaced with the synonymous expression no yAti (नो याति).

Insatiability

Please excuse some of the words I have used in my translations; I was just trying to be true to the spirit of the original compositions. Presumably, the following stanzas were authored by satirists in order to shame some of their peers for their ravenous libido.

(1) Devanagari text:

चेट्यः कदाचन कदाचन पण्यनार्यः कन्याः कदाचन कदाचन चण्डरण्डाः|
इत्थं चिरं विहरतोऽपि सखे परस्त्रीवाञ्छारसे न परितृप्यति चान्तरात्मा||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

ceTyaH kadAcana kadAcana paNyanAryaH kanyAH kadAcana kadAcana caNDaraNDAH| 

itthaM ciraM viharato(a)pi sakhe parastrIvAJchArase na paritRpyati cAntarAtmA||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: For a long time, I have been enjoying maidservants, using harlots, deflowering virgins, and cavorting with aggressive nymphomaniacs. In spite of that, dear friend, my heart cannot stop thirsting for married women. 

Source: 13th century Suktimuktaavali Chapter 89 Verse 12.

Notes: In at least one documented variant, paritRpyati (परितृप्यति) has been replaced with the synonymous parituSyati (परितुष्यति), "is satisfied". For my notes on the misogynistic pejorative randA (रण्डा), see this post (footnote 2).

(2) Devanagari text:

क्रयादौषधवत्कामः प्रभुत्वात्केवलश्रमः|
कारुवन्निजदारेषु योऽन्यः कामः स मन्मथः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

krayAdauSadhavatkAmaH prabhutvAtkevalazramaH| 

kAruvannijadAreSu yo(a)nyaH kAmaH sa manmathaH||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: When purchased, eros is like medication; when obtained by virtue of being a master (i.e. when done with maidservants / slaves), it is just labor; with one's lawfully wedded wives, it is no different from the day job of an artisan; the "other kind" of eros is truly Eros!

Source: 15th century Subhaashitaavaali Verse 2381.

Notes: The poet uses a peculiar (but fairly common) Sanskrit word for "wife" – dAra (दार) – which has the masculine gender (!!!!!) and is always used in the plural number regardless of the actual number of wives being described. Hence, although the word occurs in its plural form in the above verse, we cannot be sure if that is a reference to polygyny. 

Another point to be noted is that the "other kind" of eros, almost surely, refers to an affair with a married woman. See this post for a detailed exposition; manmatha (मन्मथ), which can be interpreted as "the agitator (of the mind)", is a fancy synonym of Kama, erotic desire or the deity presiding over it – this word is used to suggest that the first three kinds of eros enumerated above are 'eros' in name only.

A. N. D. Haksar's scholarly translation of the above verse: 

Love purchased is like a medicine,

a labour, when to power due,

with one's spouse it's just mechanics:

it's something else which is love true.