Today's offering is more likely to make you cringe or wince than it is to put a smile on your face, so please proceed at your own risk. Also, feel free to check out the first two posts in this vein here and here.
स्फीतोऽयं जठरः स्तनौ गुरुतरौ श्यामे च मे चूचुके
को रोगो वद वैद्यराज विधवे किं भोः कुपथ्यं कृतम्|
एकः कोऽपि युवा किमेव कृतवान् नाभेरधस्तान्नु मे
रोगोऽयं विषमस्तवैष दशमे मासि स्वयं यास्यति||
को रोगो वद वैद्यराज विधवे किं भोः कुपथ्यं कृतम्|
एकः कोऽपि युवा किमेव कृतवान् नाभेरधस्तान्नु मे
रोगोऽयं विषमस्तवैष दशमे मासि स्वयं यास्यति||
sphIto(a)yaM jaTharaH stanau gurutarau zyAme ca me cUcuke
ko rogo vada vaidyarAja vidhave kiM bhoH kupathyaM kRtam|
ko rogo vada vaidyarAja vidhave kiM bhoH kupathyaM kRtam|
ekaH ko(a)pi yuvA kimeva kRtavAn nAbheradhastAnnu me
rogo(a)yaM viSamastavaiSa dazame mAse svayaM yAsyati||
rogo(a)yaM viSamastavaiSa dazame mAse svayaM yAsyati||
– Anonymous
Loose translation:
Patient: My abdomen is swollen, my breasts feel heavier (than usual), and my nipples have turned darker. O great doctor! Pray tell, what is my illness?
Doctor: O widowed lady! Did you do something unhealthy?
Patient: Well, there was this young man who did something weird below my navel.
Doctor: Your disease is serious but it will depart by itself in the tenth month (from the event you mentioned).
Source: Shlokamanjari (श्लोकमञ्जरी), "an inflorescence of verses", compiled by none other than Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar, published in 1890, Appendix, Verse 40.
Notes: Vidyasagar documents variants in which the first few words are "उच्चोऽयं जठरः" instead of "स्फीतोऽयं जठरः" and the third quarter ends with "अधस्तात् पुरा" rather than "अधस्तान्नु मे"; these do not significantly alter the meaning.
Seen through a modern lens, this snippet was evidently meant to amuse an audience with a crass sense of humor, and now comes across as a rather poignant testament to social evils that were rampant in its author's lifetime. In consequence of a set of strict and complicated rules governing marital compatibility, many girls were given in marriage to much older, dowry-collecting, polygamous men who would often leave them in the care of their parents, and visit them occasionally, if at all. This led to a large number of young widows who, having little knowledge of romance or sex, were easy prey for opportunistic libertines. And men of letters, instead of trying to fix the situation, were busy poking fun at the victims.
It is also worthwhile to mention here that today's quote is one of forty verses that Vidyasagar was initially hesitant to include in the anthology because of their risqué nature but, after deliberating with like-minded peers, finally decided to publish in the form of an appendix: He chose the preservation of artistic expressions over censorship, regardless of what he himself thought of their quality.
Patient: My abdomen is swollen, my breasts feel heavier (than usual), and my nipples have turned darker. O great doctor! Pray tell, what is my illness?
Doctor: O widowed lady! Did you do something unhealthy?
Patient: Well, there was this young man who did something weird below my navel.
Doctor: Your disease is serious but it will depart by itself in the tenth month (from the event you mentioned).
Source: Shlokamanjari (श्लोकमञ्जरी), "an inflorescence of verses", compiled by none other than Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar, published in 1890, Appendix, Verse 40.
Notes: Vidyasagar documents variants in which the first few words are "उच्चोऽयं जठरः" instead of "स्फीतोऽयं जठरः" and the third quarter ends with "अधस्तात् पुरा" rather than "अधस्तान्नु मे"; these do not significantly alter the meaning.
Seen through a modern lens, this snippet was evidently meant to amuse an audience with a crass sense of humor, and now comes across as a rather poignant testament to social evils that were rampant in its author's lifetime. In consequence of a set of strict and complicated rules governing marital compatibility, many girls were given in marriage to much older, dowry-collecting, polygamous men who would often leave them in the care of their parents, and visit them occasionally, if at all. This led to a large number of young widows who, having little knowledge of romance or sex, were easy prey for opportunistic libertines. And men of letters, instead of trying to fix the situation, were busy poking fun at the victims.
It is also worthwhile to mention here that today's quote is one of forty verses that Vidyasagar was initially hesitant to include in the anthology because of their risqué nature but, after deliberating with like-minded peers, finally decided to publish in the form of an appendix: He chose the preservation of artistic expressions over censorship, regardless of what he himself thought of their quality.
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