Marital bliss

Contrary to what some readers of this blog might have come to believe, forbidden romance was not the only subject matter Sanskrit littérateurs applied themselves to; many of them also paid tribute to the sanctity of marriage and the joys of domestic life. Below is a sampling of solemn and sophisticated everyday conversations that bear testimony to the depth of feelings that long-time spouses sometimes harbor for each other. What makes these snippets particularly interesting is that the original exchanges almost surely occurred in a popular native tongue, and the authors decided to translate them into a language that is typically associated with elitism and erudition.

Since I feel that English does not do justice to either verse, I also provide translations in the (informal registers of the) only two other Indic languages I know, Hindustani and Bengali, in my notes below.

(1) Devanagari text:

क्षारं राद्धमिदं किमद्य दयिते राध्नोषि किं न स्वयमाः पापे प्रतिजल्पसे प्रतिदिनं पापस्त्वदीयः पिता|
धिक्त्वां क्रोधमुखीमलीकमुखरस्त्वत्तोऽपि कः क्रोधनो दम्पत्योरिति नित्यदत्तकलहक्लेशान्तयोः किं सुखम्||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

kSAraM rAddhaM kimadya dayite rAdhnoSi kiM na svayamAH pape pratijalpase pratidinaM pApastvadIyaH pitA| 

dhiktvAM krodhamukhImalIkamukharastvatto(a)pi kaH krodhano dampatyoriti nityadattakalahaklezayAntayoH kiM sukham||

– Anonymous

A. N. D. Haksar's translation:  
'Why is the food so salty dear?'
'Why don't you cook it on your own?'
'Hell! Don't you answer back like this!'
'To hell yourself! Your father too!'
'Damn you for your angry words!'
'You liar! Who gets angry more?'
With the couple always bickering,
can their torment ever end 
and there be some joy? 

Source: 15th century Subhaashitaavali verse 2379.

(2) Devanagari text:

आः पाकं न करोषि पापिनि कथं पापी त्वदीयः पिता रण्डे जल्पसि किं तवैव जननी रण्डा त्वदीया स्वसा|
निर्गच्छ त्वरितं गृहाद्बहिरितो नेदं त्वदीयं गृहं हा हा नाथ ममाद्य देहि मरणं जारस्य भाग्योदयः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

AH pAkaM na karoSi pApini kathaM pApI tvadIyaH pitA raNDe jalpasi kiM tavaiva jananI raNDA tvadIyA svasA| 

nirgaccha tvaritaM gRhAdbahirito nedaM tvadIyaM gRhaM hA hA nAtha mamAdya dehi maraNaM jArasya bhAgyodayaH||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: 
'Ah! Why don't you cook, you vile woman?'
'Vile? That would be your father!'
'Whore! How dare you talk back to me?'
'Your mother's a whore! And so is your sister!'
'Get out of this house!'
'This isn't your house!'
'O Lord! Please take my life right now!'
'Looks like my lover's fortunes are finally turning around!'

Source: Subhashita Ratna Bhandagara asatIcaritram (असतीचरित्रम्), "exploits of the adulteress", verse 51.

Notes:  I apologize in advance for some of the swearwords used in the following translations.

	Hindustani	Bengali
(1)	पति: पकवान में इतना नमक क्यों डाला है, भागवान? पत्नी: ख़ुद क्यों नहीं पका लेते? पति: आह! हर दिन बहस करती है, पापिन! पत्नी: पापी तुम्हारा बाप! पति: छी! छी! चिड़चिड़ी औरत! पत्नी: तुमसे ज़्यादा बकवास-करनेवाला चिड़चिड़ा इनसान और कौन हो सकता है? – इन रोज़ के झगड़ों से एक-दूसरे को ठेस पहुँचाते हुए पति-पत्नी को कौनसा सुख मिलता है?	স্বামী: ওগো, রান্নায় এত নুন দিয়েছ কেন? স্ত্রী: নিজে কেন রাঁধ না? স্বামী: আঃ! রোজ রোজ তর্ক করতে হবে, পাপিষ্ঠে! স্ত্রী: পাপিষ্ঠ তোমার বাপ! স্বামী: ছ্যা! ছ্যা! খিটখিটে মেয়েমানুষ! স্ত্রী: তোমার চেয়ে বেশি বাজে-বকা খিটখিটে লোক আর কে আছে? – দিন-দিন এমনভাবে ঝগড়া করে একে অপরের হাড় জ্বালিয়ে স্বামী-স্ত্রী কী সুখ পায়?
(2)	पति: आह! खाना क्यों नहीं पकाती पापिन? पत्नी: पापी तुम्हारा बाप! पति: बहस करती है, रांड? पत्नी: रांड तुम्हारी माँ, तुम्हारी बहन! पति: अभी निकल इस घर से! पत्नी: तुम्हारा घर नहीं है यह! पति: हे भगवान! मुझे आज मौत दे दो! पत्नी: तब तो मेरे यार के भाग खुल जाएँ!	স্বামী: আঃ! রান্না কর না কেন, পাপিষ্ঠে? স্ত্রী: পাপিষ্ঠ তোমার বাপ! স্বামী: তর্ক করা হচ্ছে, রাঁড়? স্ত্রী: রাঁড় তোমার মা, তোমার বোন! স্বামী: এখনি বেরিয়ে যা বাড়ি থেকে! স্ত্রী: তোমার বাড়ি নয় এটা! স্বামী: হে ভগবান! আজই মরণ হোক আমার! স্ত্রী: তাহলে তো নাঙের কপাল ফেরে!

Recipes for scholarship 2

As promised, here is the second installment of age-old tips for the quick attainment of academic reputation (Subhaashitaavali Verses 2384 and 2385).

(3) Devanagari text:

निःशङ्कं यत्तदुच्चैर्वद कुरु विकटं स्वाननं ज्ञानगर्वाच्छ्लाघस्वात्मानमन्यान् भष हस सहसा किंचिदश्लीलमुक्त्वा|
सावद्यं खण्डखाद्यं पठ विवद समुत्कर्षयन्मूर्खलोकानिच्छेश्चेत्सूरिभावं जडजनपुरतो मूर्खवृन्दारकोऽपि||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

niHzaGkaM yattaduccairvada kuru vikaTam svAnanaM jJAnagarvAcchlAghasvAtmAnamanyAn bhaSa hasa sahasA kiMcidazlIlamuktvA| 

sAvadyaM khaNDakhAdyaM paTha vivada samutkarSayanmUrkhalokAnicchezcetsUribhAvaM jaDajanapurato mUrkhavRndArako(a)pi||

Loose translation: Spew sheer nonsense, but do so fearlessly and stridently; make hideous faces to show your pride in your knowledge; bang your own drum, and do not forget to rail against others at the same time; every now and then, say something indecorous and laugh (at your own joke); do not forget to study the vile Khandana Khanda Khadya thoroughly (or read / recite / quote the Khandana Khanda Khadya contemptuously); engage in debates to establish the superiority of morons – be sure to do all of the above if you want to be hailed as a sage by dullards, in spite of being an ignoramus of the highest grade yourself.

Notes: I believe the word khaNDakhAdya (खण्डखाद्य) in the verse above refers to the famous Khandana Khanda Khadya (खण्डनखण्डखाद्य), "candies of refutations", a polemical treatise written by Sri Harsha in the 12th century, attacking the Nyaya system of Indic philosophy (and purportedly in favor of the Advaita Vedanta school of thought). This book has its fair share of both admirers and detractors, so it is not clear to me if our anonymous poet uses the word sAvdyaM (सावद्यं) here as an adjective of its name (in which case, the word should be read as "inferior / imperfect") or as an adverb of the imperative "read" (पठ) to mean "with censure".

(4) Devanagari text:

व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैश्चोद्यैः सलीलं भषन्नुच्चैर्जल्प निमील्य लोचनयुगं श्लोकान्सगर्वं पठन्|
काव्यं स्वीकुरु यत्परैर्विरचितं स्पर्धस्व साकं बुधैर्यद्यभ्यर्थयसे श्रुतेन रहितः पाण्डित्यमाप्तुं बलात्||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

vyAsAdInkavipuMgavAnanucitaizcodyaiH salIlaM bhaSannuccairjalpa nimIlya locanayugaM zlokAnsagarvaM paThan| 

kAvyaM svIkuru yatparairviracitaM spardhasva sAkaM budhairyadyabhyarthayase zrutena rathitaH pANDityamAptuM balAt||

A. N. D. Haksar's translation in English verse: 

For scholarship a reputation

if you wish to gain perforce,

even though to sacred learning

you have never had recourse:

then as your own, claim others' works,

stand proud as you recite some verse

with half-closed eyes, and be dramatic

while running down in language terse

Vyasa and the other lions

of literature in days gone by;

as for the learned men at present,

challenge them, their skills decry.

Notes: I think the first few words व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैश्चोद्यैः सलीलं भषन् deserve special attention. To the best of my knowledge, codya (चोद्य) refers to a "difficult question" raised in order to initiate a debate, or a position picked by a logician to refute in the process of establishing their own thesis (also called pUrvapakSa (पूर्वपक्ष)). Hence, the above excerpt can be read as "jeering at eminent authors like Vyasa by posing inappropriate questions / raising controversies". I wonder what kind of questions or topics for debate would be deemed inappropriate by the poet and their intended audience. 

The 14th century Shaarngadharapaddhati contains a slightly different version (Verse 205) of the above verse: The first quarter व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैश्चोद्यैः सलीलं भषन् is replaced with व्यासादीन्कविपुंगवाननुचितैर्वाक्यैः सलीलं हसन् (with no significant change to the meaning); the first verse ends in पठ and not पठन्; काव्यं स्वीकुरु यत्परैर्विरचितं is recorded as काव्यं धिक्कुरु यत्परैर्विरचितं which means "deride others' works" rather than "claim others' works as your own"; in lieu of साकं, we have the synonymous सार्धं.

---

The above quotes indicate that, while there has always been a tremendous diversity of thought in South Asia, followers of competing academic traditions never shied away from subjecting one another to carping criticism. 

Recipes for scholarship 1

In verses 2300, 2383, 2384, and 2385 of the 15th century Subhaashitaavaali, unnamed poets have left behind valuable tips for gaining academic reputation easily. The first two of this set are quoted below, the rest will appear in a future post. 

(1) Devanagari text:

जिह्वायाश्छेदनं नास्ति न तालुपतनाद्भयम्|
निर्विशङ्केन वक्तव्यं वाचालः को न पण्डितः||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

jihvAyAzchedanaM nAsti na tAlupatanAdbhayam| 

nirvizaGkena vaktavyaM vAcAlaH ko na paNDitaH||

A.N.D. Haksar's translation: 

There is no fear

your palate will split

or your tongue be pulled out;

so, freely speak:

a man loquacious

is deemed perspicacious.

Notes: This is an example of extreme verbal irony where the speaker is so annoyed at the incessant prattling of a person they deem foolish that they wish the prattler's tongue would detach itself or the roof of their mouth would cave in. The word tAlupatana (तालुपतन), which Haksar translates as "split[ting]" of the palate, literally means "falling of the palate"; nirvizaGkena (translated as "freely") is, more appropriately, "without fear / worry".

(2) Devanagari text:

नाम ग्रन्थकृतां गृहाण विबुधोपाध्यायचर्चां कुरु ग्रन्थानां भव सत्परिग्रहकृती स्पर्धस्व साकं बुधैः|
नानाहस्तविचित्रचालनपरश्चोच्चैः सशब्दं हसन्निच्छेश्चेद्बुधतां पुरो जडधियामत्यन्तमूर्खोऽपि सन्||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

nAma granthakRtAM gRhANa vibudhopAdhyAyacarcAM kuru granthAnAM bhava satparigrahakRtI spardhasva sAkaM budhaiH| 

nAnAhastavicitracAlanaparazcoccaiH sazabdaM hasannicchezcedbudhatAM puro jaDadhiyAmatyantamUrkho(a)pi san||

A. N. D. Haksar's translation in English verse: 

If, even though an utter fool,

you wish knowledgeable to appear

before a group of dull-wits, then

speak of eminent persons there,

take names of well-known authors,

display some books of quality,

some learned scholars vilify,

wave hands and laugh uproariously.

Notes: In my opinion, a better reading of the word vibudhopAdhyAyacarcA (विबुधोपाध्यायचर्चा), which Haksar translates  as "speak[ing] of eminent persons", is "talking about learned teachers". Wikipedia offers some interesting information on the word upAdhyAya (उपाध्याय); to the best of my knowledge, the word ojhA (ओझा, ওঝা) derives from upAdhyAya (Prakrit: उअज्झाअ or something similar).

To be continued.

The penman

Verses 508, 509, and 510 of the anthology Vajjalaggam, quoted below, constitute the lehayavajjA (लेहयवज्जा; Sanskrit lekhakavrajyA (लेखकव्रज्या)), "the chapter on the penman". Here, lekhaka refers to a man who charges money for writing letters by hand on behalf of others who are presumably illiterate. 

Today's quotes are written from the perspective of dissatisfied female customers chiding male "letter-writers" for completely failing at their job. The language is stylized Maharashtri Prakrit but sadly the authors are unknown. The Sanskrit renderings are by the commentator Ratnadeva (रत्नदेव), unless otherwise noted.

(1) Devanagari text:

मसि मलिऊण न याणासि लेहणि गहिऊण मूढ खलिओ सि|

ओसरसु कूडलेहय सुललियपत्तं विणासिहिसि||
(मषीं (वीर्यं) मर्दितुं न जानासि लेखनीं (शेफं) ग्रहीतुं मूढ स्खलितोऽसि|
अपसर कूटलेखक सुललितपत्त्रं (शय्याप्रच्छादनपटं) विनाशयिष्यसि||)

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

masi maliUNa n yANAsi lehaNi gahiUNa mUDha khalio si|

osarasu kUDalehaya sulaliyapattaM viNAsihisi||

Loose translation: You don't know how to squeeze the ink out! You are so clumsy even as you try to hold your pen (in the right position), you moron! Get out, good-for-nothing writer, you are just going to ruin the tender writing sheet (presumably, a treated palm-leaf strip used as a writing surface)!
[For the true import, Ratnadeva urges you to replace "ink" with a certain body fluid, "pen" with a certain body part, and "writing sheet" with "bed sheet".]

Notes: According to Pathak, for an erotic reading, the Prakrit sulaliyapattaM (सुललियपत्तं) should be Sanskritized as sulalitapAtraM (सुललितपात्रं), "a tender  / sweet receptacle",  a euphemism for another body part. 

(2) Devanagari text:

ढलिया य मसी भग्गा य लेहणी खरडियं च तलवट्टं|

धिद्धि त्ति कूडलेहय अज्ज वि लेहत्तणे तण्हा||

(स्खलिता च मषी (वीर्यं) भग्ना च लेखनी (शेफो) भग्नं च तालपत्त्रम्* (शय्याप्रच्छादनपटं)| 
धिग्धिगिति कूटलेखकाद्यापि लेखने** (यभने) तृष्णा||
*तलपट्टम् , **लेखकत्वे – Pathak)

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

DhaliyA ya masI maggA ya lehaNI kharaDiyaM ca talavaTTaM|
dhiddhi tti kUDalehaya ajja vi lehattaNe taNhA||

Loose translation: All the ink has leaked out, the pen is broken, and the palm-leaf sheet is ripped! And you still want to go on writing?! Fie on you, you worthless writer!
[See (1) above for the implications of "ink", "pen", and "palm-leaf sheet"; in addition, replace "writing" with a certain activity that does not require literacy. Moreover, "broken" must be (hopefully) taken figuratively, as in verse (2) of this post.]

Notes: One of the Prakrit words that makes the pun work is talavaTTaM (तलवट्टं) which can be Sanskritized either as tAlapattram (तालपत्त्रम्), "palm-leaf sheet" or talapaTTam (तलपट्टम्) ,"a piece of cloth to be spread underneath oneself or over a flat surface".

(3) Devanagari text:

पिहुलं मसिभायणयं अत्थि मसी वित्थरं च तलवट्टं|

अम्हारिसाण कज्जे हयलेहय लेहणी भग्गा||

(पृथुलं मषीभाजनमस्ति मषी विस्तरं* च तालपत्त्रम्**| 
अस्मादृशीनां कार्ये हतलेखक लेखनी भग्ना||
*विस्तृतं, **(वराङ्गम्) – Pathak)

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

pihulaM masibhAyaNayaM atthi masI vittharaM ca talavaTTaM|
amhArisANa kajje hayalehaya lehaNI bhaggA||

Loose translation: You have such a large ink-pot, and (presumably) such copious amounts of ink; and you have been given such a large palm-leaf sheet to boot. Yet, when it came time to do the job for me, you had to go and bust your pen, you sad excuse for a scribe!
[Replace "ink-pot" with a certain sac involved in the production of a certain fluid; the rest can be inferred from (1) and (2) above.]

Epic comeback

In order to appreciate today's quote, one must have a fair amount of familiarity with the Indian epic Mahabharata (महाभारत). And if one does meet this criterion, they might start seeing what they know in a new light.

One of the principal characters in this saga is Draupadi (द्रौपदी), the common wife of the five Pandava (पाण्डव) brothers of Hastinapura (हस्तिनापुर) whose hostilities with their cousins, the hundred Kauravas (कौरव), drive the central narrative. An unnamed poet imagines a situation in which Duryodhana (दुर्योधन), the eldest of the Kauravas, tries to shame Draupadi for having five husbands, and she snaps right back at him with the following words.

Devanagari text:

श्वश्रूश्वश्रूपती द्वौ च श्वश्रूपतिचतुष्टयम्|

ममापि पतयः पञ्च पतिवर्धि कुलं मम||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

zvazrUzvazrUpatI dvau ca zvazrUpaticatuSTayam|
mamApi patayaH paJca pativardhi kulaM mama||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: My mother-in-law's mother-in-law has two husbands; my mother-in-law has four; I have five – (evidently,) the number of husbands a woman has increases (with every generation) in our family line.

Source: Early 20th century anthology Udbhata Shloka Maalaa, Additional Verses (परिशिष्टश्लोकाः), Verse 69. I don't think this composition is very old. 

Explanation: This is Draupadi's way of pointing out to Duryodhana that even before she married into his (extended) family, he had no shortage of female relatives who had been intimate with multiple men. This would imply that her status as a polyandrous woman had more to do with the values and traditions of her detractor's family than with her own character or preferences. Indeed, Draupadi never took five husbands of her own accord, and was compelled to do so by a strange sequence of events that the author(s) of the original epic and later commentators have gone to great lengths to justify /  explain away.

However, to make complete sense of Draupadi's rejoinder, we must slightly extend the meaning of the word 'husband' (पति) to include any man one has slept with but is not necessarily married to. Draupadi's mother-in-law's mother-in-law and Duryodhana's step-grandmother Ambalika (अम्बालिका) was married to King Vichitravirya (विचित्रवीर्य) of Hastinapura who died issueless; so, in keeping with contemporary social customs, Vichitravirya's mother Satyavati (सत्यवती) summoned her eldest son Vyasa (व्यास), who was himself sired by Parashara (पराशर) before she became queen consort to King Shantanu (शान्तन्तु), to impregnate Ambalika as well as her sister and co-wife Ambika (अम्बिका) in order to save the dynasty from extinction. This is how Pandu (पाण्डु), Ambalika's son and Draupadi's (legal) father-in-law, was born. This explains the alleged biandry of Draupadi's grandmother-in-law.

Pandu had a curse put on him by a rishi that he would die if and when he engaged in lovemaking. So, his wife Kunti (कुन्ती), Duryodhana's aunt through marriage and one of Draupadi's two mothers-in-law, had to use a spell to invoke the deities Dharma (धर्म), Vayu (वायु), and Indra (इन्द्र) to 'bless' her with male progeny who would carry Pandu's name. Long before her marriage to Pandu, however, she had borne a son of the sun god Surya (सूर्य) when she was experimenting with said spell. So, technically, five men could claim to be Kunti's 'husbands'. Why, then, would Draupadi speak of just four? Presumably, the above conversation happened before the battle of Kurukshetra (perhaps during the infamous episode of the game of dice in which men of the Kaurava camp are known to have tortured Draupadi, both physically and mentally, in many ways) so that neither Duryodhana nor Draupadi would know of Kunti and Surya's tryst. However, poets who enjoyed putting such interesting twists on well-known mythological themes sometimes made their characters act in certain situations as if they knew things they were not supposed to know at that point in the original story. In that case, this could be an allusion to the possibility that Pandu and Kunti never got to consummate their marriage, implying that Kunti had been intimate with the above four gods only.  

Additional notes: Snippets like these can be viewed as precursors to modern-day 'fan theories' and 'fanfics' based on popular works of fiction. 

It is also noteworthy how Draupadi like a dutiful daughter-in-law calls the Kuru dynasty "my family" (कुलं मम) even as she is arguing with a scion of the same lineage.

The diagnosis

Today's offering is more likely to make you cringe or wince than it is to put a smile on your face, so please proceed at your own risk. Also, feel free to check out the first two posts in this vein here and here.

Devanagari text:

स्फीतोऽयं जठरः स्तनौ गुरुतरौ श्यामे च मे चूचुके
को रोगो वद वैद्यराज विधवे किं भोः कुपथ्यं कृतम्|
एकः कोऽपि युवा किमेव कृतवान् नाभेरधस्तान्नु मे
रोगोऽयं विषमस्तवैष दशमे मासि स्वयं यास्यति||

Harvard-Kyoto transliteration:

sphIto(a)yaM jaTharaH stanau gurutarau zyAme ca me cUcuke
ko rogo vada vaidyarAja vidhave kiM bhoH kupathyaM kRtam| 

ekaH ko(a)pi yuvA kimeva kRtavAn nAbheradhastAnnu me
rogo(a)yaM viSamastavaiSa dazame mAse svayaM yAsyati||

– Anonymous

Loose translation: 
Patient: My abdomen is swollen, my breasts feel heavier (than usual), and my nipples have turned darker. O great doctor! Pray tell, what is my illness?
Doctor: O widowed lady! Did you do something unhealthy?
Patient: Well, there was this young man who did something weird below my navel.
Doctor: Your disease is serious but it will depart by itself in the tenth month (from the event you mentioned).

Source:  Shlokamanjari (श्लोकमञ्जरी), "an inflorescence of verses", compiled by none other than Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar, published in 1890, Appendix, Verse 40. 

Notes:  Vidyasagar documents variants in which the first few words are "उच्चोऽयं जठरः" instead of "स्फीतोऽयं जठरः" and the third quarter ends with "अधस्तात् पुरा" rather than "अधस्तान्नु मे"; these do not significantly alter the meaning.

Seen through a modern lens, this snippet was evidently meant to amuse an audience with a crass sense of humor, and now comes across as a rather poignant testament to social evils that were rampant in its author's lifetime. In consequence of a set of strict and complicated rules governing marital compatibility, many girls were given in marriage to much older, dowry-collecting, polygamous men who would often leave them in the care of their parents, and visit them occasionally, if at all. This led to a large number of young widows who, having little knowledge of romance or sex, were easy prey for opportunistic libertines. And men of letters, instead of trying to fix the situation, were busy poking fun at the victims.

It is also worthwhile to mention here that today's quote is one of forty verses that Vidyasagar was initially hesitant to include in the anthology because of their risqué nature but, after deliberating with like-minded peers, finally decided to publish in the form of an appendix: He chose the preservation of artistic expressions over censorship, regardless of what he himself thought of their quality.